By Olaegbe David
I got married at 25, finished my PhD at 27 and became a Professor at 40.
So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.
My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young mothers not to be careless as I was back then.
I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children….”I’m busy”
My mum was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my husband was not in support of this. I always found my way.
I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.
I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my husband, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.
I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.
The two boys, living in Canada said they are “busy” and that their sister will come down from South Africa.
Two days to my birthday, my two daughters sent this message to me, “Mum, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I’m pregnant. “I’m very very busy,
I’m also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us mum. Happy birthday”. I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. “First-things-First”. When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, “I’m busy”
To worsen the matter, my dear husband died in his sleep a month after. …Only one of the children came without his family to the burial ceremony.
I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.
But hear this important and salient truth:
Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home – Avoid it and be careful!
SOLIDIFY YOUR HOME FIRST, CREATE TIME FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN.
ESTABLISH THE FEAR OF GOD IN THEIR HEARTS THROUGH YOUR ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR.
THOUGH IT IS COSTLY NOW, THE FUTURE REWARD IS WORTH IT.
THIS IS AN EYE OPENER FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN.
LET’S BE SELFLESSLY AVAILABLE WHEN OUR CHILDREN NEED US.
If this inspires you, pls share to others.
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Lack of parantal responsibility can cause disaster to the family and the entire nation. Example in the Bible is the case of Eli’s family, 1 Samuel 2:27-36, chapters 3 &4 where the children of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas due to the lack of parantal responsibility brought disaster to the family and entire nation of Israel.
Also read BEN CARSON SPEAKS: PART ONE
The two children died on the same day, Eli died, the daughter in-law died during child birth, Israelites lost the battle and the Ark of the Lord captured. O! What a disaster!
The Bible has placed high responsibilies on parants for the good upbringing of the entire children. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it
Family is the bedrock of the society. When the family is well founded, the society will be solidly strong, peaceful and good.
Many families have left their in the hands of house helps, Aunties, Uncles etc. to pursue wealth. In most cases the children are sexually abused, physically abused, maltreated, malnurished and even used for ritual purposes as can see in most media.
MY ADVISE TO PARANTS
There us need to take care of the family needs. Yes I agree with that, but only the physiological needs which most parants tend to focus on. Also, other needs like spiritual, psychological, emotional, social etc. must be met in order to bring up a total child.
Parants should create time to meet up with the 3 Ties of the family:
·Church (Religious Activities)
The family should be given priority because that is the first foundation and the first school of the child. If the family is sick, the entire society will be sick and in disarray. So the 3 Ties must be balanced.
Parental roles should not be delegated to house help or any care giver who has little or nothing to offer.
Children should be closely monitored by their parants, what they watch on TV, internet, social media, what they wear, places they they visit, the type of friends they keep. Etc.
Make out time to listen to them, they want to share their experiences with you. If you don’t create time, someone out there will teach them the wrong thing or mislead them.
Parants should be role moldels to their children. Most times, children tend to copy what they see their parents do.
There is an adage that says. “When the mother-goat is chewing the cord, the young one is watching.”
Make God the head of the family by constantly communing with Him through prayer. He is the strong tower the rightous runneth unto him and he is saved.
St Augustine says, “A family that prays together stays together.”
Joshua 1:8 says, “Be sure that this book of the Law is always read in your worship. Study it day and night, and make sure that you obey everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet. and a light to my path.”
Read, study, and meditate on the word of God with your children always. Lve the word and you will prosper..
Finally, to be a parent is a great responsibility trusted unto you by God which you must give account to Him.
Dear parents, please, let us live up to our responsibilities, to protect our children from all forms of vices that ravaging the society and have eaten deep into so many families.
Let us say NO to this canca worm.
Mat God Almighty give us the grace to live up to expectation in Jesus Name. Amen.
Sis. Jimaimmah Ogbu
How do I Escape Pornography Addiction?
As I’m sure you can guess, some of the most searched terms on the internet are related to pornography-whether it is to seek out or to find ways to end addiction. Pornography is everywhere today in varying forms and levels of graphicness. It affects both guys and girls. satan has succeeded in twisting and perverting sex. He has taken what is totally good and right (loving sex between a husband and wife) and replaced it with lust, pornography, adultery , rape, and homosexuality.
Pornography can be the first step on a very slippery slope of falling into even more immoralities (Romans 6:19). The addictive properties of pornography are documented facts. Just as drug abuse requires a user to always up the ante to achieve the same high, pornography drags one deeper and deeper into hard-core sexual addictions and ungodly desires.
The three main kinds of sin are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1John 2:16). Pornography encompasses all of those. It definitely makes us lust after flesh, and it is undeniably a lust of the eyes. Pornography is not something we are to dwell upon, according to Philippians 4:8.
Pornography is addictive (1Corinthians 6:12; 2Peter 2:19) and destructive (Proverbs 6:25-28; Ezekiel 20:30; Ephesians 4:19).
Having lustful thoughts is the essence of pornography, and it is offensive to God (Matthew 5:28). (Note: Lust is not the same as love, which is what you would feel for your husband or wife.)
When a person claims to be a Christian has become desperately devoted to pornography, without remorse or desire to desire to repent, that person should really consider if he or she is really saved ( 1Corinthians 6:9). That sounds hash, but one who has wholeheartedly made a decision to follow Christ will not make a decision to constantly disobey a His Word. This doesn’t mean we will never stumble. It happens. But if a person has no desire to change, then that is when we have to worry.
If you are addicted to pornography …..
First off, do not despair! An addiction to internet porn is not an “unforgivable sin.” God can and will forgive you. Pornography addiction is not impossible to conquer. With God, you will have the power to overcome it.
Second, let me encourage you that are NOT alone. Pornography addiction is such a solitary thing. Those images you see are ones that will be burned into your memory always, and it hurts. I know it hurts. You feel like you’re the only one with the problem, yet there are so many who struggle with it. Take heart that you are not the only one!
God can and Will Give you Victory.
If you truly desire to be free from your addiction, here are some steps to
1. Confess your sin to God (1 John 1:9).
He already knows what’s going on, but it is helpful to just get it out in the open. So often, we think we can hide things from God, but honestly, He knows it all anyway. It’s best to just fess up.
2. Ask God cleans, renew, and transform your mind (Romans 12:2).
The reasons why you are turning to pornography may be much deeper than you think. Maybe it starts with boredom or loneliness or just plain curiosity. But there is terrifying draw that pornography has; it’s so hard to look away. Yet God can give you the strength to do so!
3. Ask God to fill your mind with things from Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things.”
4. Learn to posses your body in holiness (Thessalonians 4:3-4). That is, your body belongs to God, so take care of it as though you are taking care of it for Him by keeping it holy and pure.
5. Understand the real reason why sex exists, and wait until marriage to meet that need. (1Corinthians 7:1-5).
Sex was invented by God; that’s why our bodies desire it so. We were made for this, but God’s command is that it is only to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. Sex outside of marriage causes all kinds of emotional and spiritual turmoil that does not help us in our relationship with God.
6. Realize that if you take direction from the Holy Spirit to live a holy life, you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). If we truly allow God to direct our actions, He will help steer us away from the temptations that would make us fall into sin.
7. Stop Looking at Graphic Images!
That seems a bit simple and obvious, but really, installing pornography blockers on your devices and timing viewing of sexy media (TV, movies, games, etc.) will help you stop before you even get started. We have suggestions listed below.
8. Find a Christian friend who will pray for you and help keep you accountable.
Make sure this is a person you trust to call you out and tell you like it is.. That’s very important! A friend who will let you get away with things doesn’t make for a very good accountability partner.
Also read Christian Encourager editorial page 👇🏽https://thinetheglory.com/2018/08/04/christian-encourager-magazine-editorial-soft-copy/
Pornography can lead to uncontrollable lust and make it really difficult to experience true sexual intimacy when you’re married. Often intense feelings of guilt and despair go along with viewing porn-or show up directly afterward.. Pornography is the #1 cause of masturbation, sexual assault, and sexual deviancy. Pornography is offensive to God, which makes it a sin that must be confessed, repented of, and overcome.
But remember, you are not alone. God can give you power. YOU CAN DO THIS.
By: Catiana Nak Kheiyn editor of 412teens.org
If you need counseling and assistance in this area, and you are willing to talk to a matured and qualified counsellors; call/WhatsApp +2348181975074. We will direct you to a mature on line or face to face godly counselors.
For more educating articles like this, please visit: http://www.412teens.org
and meet Catiana Nak Kheiyn
By Romanus O.Obiekosi
I give glory and honour to God Almighty for the actualization of this divine assignment. A project that has long existed in our “mental world” but has now become visible in the real world. It has become something real and tangible, something to be grasped. May the Name of the Lord be praised..
The Christian Encourager Magazine is born out of godly zeal and passion, towards the fulfillment of God’s divine purpose, and establishment of His will on earth as it is heaven.
it is born out of love for humanity towards actualidzing its God’s divine mandate and purpose on earth, hoped to be achieved through unflinching encouragement in all ramifications of human endeavours.
It’s a push to step up to God’s standard of living and desire for mankind.
The Christian Encourager magazine is about encouraging and building up in diverse forms. It is aimed at touching every aspect of human life and endeavour, no matter the adverse condition you find yourself. It is just as the the Scripture says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing”( 1Thessalonians 5:11)
So we see promotion in every adverse circumstance as far as the Lord sits on the throne and we put all our trust in Him. It’s gonna be well!
This therefore is pivotal, and a watchword for us on this mission. It is our drive and objective.
Encouragement is one of the most essential aids and tools that everyone born of a wowan needs to succeed in any life’s endeavour. It is the leading factor for godly and excellent living. It is mostly needed in our present generation where everything now goes; where morality and godliness has grown wings and flown away from our planet earth, and evil, lawlessness, injustice, afflictions and difficulties have risen to their highest order.
Our children in the classrooms and at campuses are unsafe. Parents and wards are in constant fear of of losing their children’s moral values, and godly standard. They need our constant encouragement in order not to lose their moral and godly values.
Encouragement produces energy and builds up unwavering faith for continuity in living a meaningful life and pursuing godly aspirations. When it comes from the right source (divine), it becomes a strong, hard and right push towards the right direction. We all need that right push. Our children need it. We all need to be encouraged and to encourage others in all life’s issues.
Encouragement comes in diverse forms. As needs varies among people, so they require various kinds and forms of encouragemnt. It could be verbal (words) or tangible (materials). Some persons’ challenges might be solved with just a little word of advise. While others might require a tangible gesture like cash, equipment, materials, working tools, etc. Still a host of others might be needing professional support, coaching, mentoring, training, skill acquisition etc. This is the purpose the ‘The Christian Encourager Magazine’ is set to achieve.
We hope to provide encouragement on many issues of life as they affect and pose a challenge to humanity daily. Beginning from spirituality to the family life, relationship, carreer, professions, work, business, leadership, human behaviour and life in general.
No matter how rich you may find this edition, it is not in any way comparable to our subsquent editions. We are ready to explore and explore and explore and get to the zenith of acquiring whatever it requires to achieve this mission.
We are set to turn this world around for good to the glory of God.
We solicit for your unflunching support in whatever area that will aid us to achieve this mission.
The Holy Bible is our standard of authority and presentation. Every other perception or idea will be duly scrutinized and subjected to the standard of the Holy Scriptures. That is, the Holy Scripture is our yard stick. We don’t encourage what disagrees with God’s word.
I trust you will find a topic or more in the pages of this magazine that will encourage, edify and change you for the best in life ahead. See you at the VICTORS hall of fame.
I pray that the LORD will lay upon you the burden to become an Encorager in order to change the life of others around you. See you at the VICTORS hall of fame.